See You at the Bitter End
By Elithien
Evenfall has come and naught but the lights of Elbereth exist in the city.
All are in their halls and homes and a quiet has come, creeping through
the valley of Tumladen like a silhouetted gloom, spreading his etching fingers
through every fissure. They mourn and wonder for again the news of Morgotho's
spreading darkness has reached our ears.
Where are you? You are no where to be seen. Are you hiding too?
Oh Idril. Beautiful, flawless, lovely Idril. Fairest of all wonders in
white stoned Gondolin. Indeed the most fairest and beloved to
Turgon and all of Gondolin.
You feel the burdens of the world upon you and you feel the shadow, the
growing shadow that has covered your heart. Is it the shadow of Nargothrond
that covers your mind?
Why now have you hardened thoughts against me, my cousin? What is this
coldness in your heart? Do you fear me Idril? 'Twas not I who brought the
downfall of Finarfin's sons. What have you against the child of Aredhel, your
father's sister. Oh Idril, do you not see a Noldo in me, a Noldo like yourself?
Must you turn your back to me always Idril?
Oh Idril, fair, flawless Idril of sparkling brilliance, what have you
done? Why have you wed him Idril, he a mortal man? What have you done? You
have mingled the blood of the fair Eldar with the Edain. You have borne
to him a son.
Why Idril? Do you not see just how we are alike and how we may help each
other, Idril? We both have lost our mothers, we are both half Noldor, we
both have the love of Turgon and Gondolin, we have both faced hardships and
found bliss in the valleys of Tumladen.
And still you are cold to me. 'Twas not I who marshalled the foul of Morgotho,
nor was it I who brought the downfall of Nargothrond. No Idril, not I. 'Twas
your kin by marriage. The son of Húrin, brother of Huor, your husbands
father. Oh Idril why have you mingled with them?
Fair Idril. My fair and flawless Idril. Would you rather give yourself
to him than you would to me Idril? Am I so vile? Idril... fair... beautiful...
flawless... Idril. Do you know how happy I could make you, with you as my
wife? After Turgon it could be you and I, Idril, the successors of Gondolin.
You say your beauty is not for my eyes. How if I were to turn my sword
upon your husband and strip him from his eyes, his life. How if I were to
tear your son to pieces and your husband? Then would you allow my eyes to
see you, Idril? I am Aredhel Ar-Feiniel's son, would you not let me see you?
Do you see me Idril? Do you see Maeglin for who he truly is? Do you understand
him Idril? Do you pity him for his bent state, the bent state in which you
have put him in. Fair Idril, fair, beautiful, golden haired Idril, what
have you done? What have you done to Aredhel's child? Will you shun him
all your days?
Will you love me Idril? Will you love me like you have loved no other?
Will you let me have you for my own? Will you let me touch you, let me feel
you in my arms? Will you let me explore every crevice, ever contour of your
body? Will you let me breathe in the scent of your Vanyarin hair? Will you
let me taste every drop of you? Will you let my lips cover every inch of your
body, let my fingertips roam freely where I wish? Will you lay before me
as a banquet filled with exotic foods? Will you let me enter you, enter you
body, your heart, your soul? Will you spill your secrets, dreams and desires
to me? Will you let me consume you in with fire? Will you?
Idril...
Will you tremble under my touch Idril? Will you cry out to me in the pinnacle
of passion? Will you let me drive you to the point where you feel nothing,
you see nothing, you sense nothing, you know nothing, you breathe nothing,
but me? Will you scream my name Idril, over and over again as I lavish attention
upon and you show you things of pleasure you would have never known or felt
before? Will you let my breath linger upon your skin when I have finished
with you? Will you let me make it so that you would never want to leave
my side again, that you would want no other lover, no other husband than
me? Idril... my Idril Celebrindal... will you love me? Will you be so warm,
tender and inviting to me, as you are with Tuor? So soft and willing to
my touch... so warm and inviting... with honey and wine... divulgent... succulen...
warm... tender... beautiful... fair... flawless... Idril. Will you let me
have you?
I know you it, that some day you will love me Idril. You love me and you
will come to me when I call you.
Idril... Idril... Idril... Idril...
My love, Idril. Most fairest of all wonders in Gondolin, with skin like
powder and hair like the light of Laurelin unmarred. More sweeter than honey
straight from the comb and more satisfying than the last drop of wine left
in the pitcher. Idril...
Oh Idril, fair beautiful flawless Idril. You still hurt me.
You still taunt me with your eyes. I see it when you look at me you taunt
me everytime. You mock me because you save your sweetest embraces for the
mortal and your softest voice for your son. Such a beautiful face has he,
the beauty of his mother. But no! The beauty of Idril Celebrindal, the sparling
brilliance of Gondolin, is not for my eyes, is it Idril?
But you gave yourself to him, did you not Idril. You are too late. You
cannot change what you have done, nor what I have done.
Yes Idril, you know. I see it in your eyes the fear you hold, though you
show it not. You know what I have done don't you? You know what I have done
with those seeds. You see that I have scattered them, left a trail from
the pits pf Angband to the very road to Gondolin.
Oh Idril. My fair, flawless Idril. To what has this come to? Why must
you have made it as such? It will be you who will bring the downfall of
Gondolin, Idril. You, not I. Fair Idril, such a pity that your hand must
be given to me by force, but fear not my cousin. After you will be my wife
and I shall treat you good. I will Idril, you have my promise. You will
be my wife, my queen and you shall bear me children, heirs to my thrown,
of pure Eldar blood.
Too late Idril... I debated long in my head to the point where I could
not think straight. I told him. I told him everything for you. I told him
and he will come for us. I loved you Idril. I loved you and I still love you.
You spat in my face Idril. You laughed at me. You mocked me. You thought
of all such things about me though you said or did none. I heard it Idril.
I heard it all, all that you did not say.
I heard I perceived from you. I am not a mortal Idril and you cannot hide
from me. I am Maeglin, Sharp glance for a reason! I loved you Idril, we
could have been together happily! I loved you and I love you. You have ruined
it Idril, you have ruined us and me! You have marred me you have warped
my mind with your cursed beauty! You have ruined me Idril and I shall
inturn ruin you. I hope you cannot sleep and you dream about me and when
you dream I hope you cannot sleep and you scream for me, scream my name
like how you will when you are my wife. I know you see me Idril and I see
you now. I will see you at the bitter end.
Are you frightened of me Idril? Yes, yes you are. You feel the evil I
have done, for the sake of your hand. You see it. You smell it. You feel
it within reach of your fingertips. You feel my evil. You feel my darkness.
Now taste it. Taste it Idril. Taste my darkness. Drink from my cup. Feel
the power Idril, feel it and be possessed! Let it eat at your conscience,
let it eat at your soul and your mind. Taste it. Drink it. Embrace it. Hold
it to your heart. Hold me to your heart. Hold me. Have me. Taste me and let
me taste you in return. Let me possess you and you in turn possess me. Let
me have you Idril. Let me hold you. Let me give you all you have ever wanted.
Give yourself to me. Surrender to me, son of Eöl!
Oh Maeglin... poor, little Maeglin. Poor little ill-begotten son of Eöl.
What have you done Maeglin? What are these seeds? Did you know I felt sorry
for you Maeglin, I did Maeglin, believe me I did. Ill-begotten son of Eöl.
What have you done Maeglin? What have you done...
Idril... oh Idril... Idril Celebrindal. Fair maiden. Such a fair, fair
maiden. Like a star in the heavens but more beautiful. Far, far more beautiful.
Idril. Idril. Will you forgive me for what I have done? Will you find it somewhere
within your heart to love me? Idril... Idril please? Please Idril, fair daughter
of the Gondolindrim. Idril. Idril. Idril please? Just tell me you love me.
Tell me Idril. Idril. Idril please? Idril, my fair cousin. Please?
Oh Idril. Fair sweet little Idril. You have made the wrong decisions.
But I see you now and you see me. And I will you see you at the bitter end.
You have made the wrong decisions, sweet Idril. But I will try to make them
right for you and I. I will see you Idril. I will see you at the bitter end.
Notes:
*Gondolindrim: the people of Gondolin.
**Idril's name is the Sindarin form derived from the Quenya, Itarillë
or Itarildë, meaning "sparkling brilliance" hence the lines Idril of
sparkling brilliance etc.
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