I Wanna Heal 2

By Orchyd Constyne


Elladan checked his pack one last time.  He was going on an extended patrol that night and wanted to make sure he had everything.  It was ne of the few times Glorfindel had not put both Elladan and Elrohir on the extended patrol together, instead assigning himself to accompany the elder twin.  Elrohir would remain behind with their Prince.

The Peredhel winced slightly at the thought of his golden lover.  It had been over a week since the Elf had returned to their bed, apologizing for his outburst and avoidance.  It was only in retrospect that Elladan realized that, though they spoke much that night, they never truly discussed the heart of Legolas' pain.  Their lover had a way of making them forget their cares and bury themselves in his body. This had to stop.

Elladan gathered his cloak and pack and headed from the room he shared with his twin.  The night was cool, fall was leaving them and early winter was setting in.  Snow would come soon and Imladris would glitter like a diamond.  He smiled as he made his way to the stables where the others on patrol would be waiting.

His thoughts centered on Legolas.  Elrohir was right, there was a bond between them.  It was stronger now for him since he had acknowledged it.  He could feel the faint emotions Legolas leaked down the connection, but they were little aid to finding the answer to his questions.

His worries were pushed aside, though, when he entered the paddock and saw his twin leaning against the fencing, smiling at him.  His heart squeezed.  His brother's beauty always captivated him, left him needy and wanting.

"Elladan," came the silken tone, caressing his name.

"Elrohir."  He approached, laying his pack on the ground at their feet, looking into the silver-grey eyes of his twin.

"I hate when I cannot come with you, gwanunig."  Elrohir's hand came up to rest on his cheek.

"You have our Prince to keep you company, Caulen.  I will return soon. I will always come back to you."  Elladan placed his hand on the back of Elrohir's neck and drew him close, covering his brother's lips with his own.  The kiss was soft and slow, a gentle tasting of each other and a silent communication of intense and undying love.

Such kisses always left them breathless and with tears in their eyes.

Elladan picked up his back and caressed his lover's face one last time.  "Amin mela lle," he whispered.

"Amin mela lle, Elladan."

Legolas stood on his balcony looking out over the courtyard, stable and paddock.  His eyes were narrowed, watching the twins say good bye to one another for the next four days.  The words expressed between them were on lost on the Prince's Elvish hearing and he felt the sharp pang of jealousy shoot through him.

They loved one another.  They did not love him.  Why this upset him, he couldn't explain.  He didn't love them... did he?  Estel had said there was more to love than words, but the words always helped.  He shoved the doubts aside as his envy of Elladan surged up in him. Elladan had Elrohir's love.  Elrohir would never leave Elladan.  But, they could always leave him.

Elrohir turned from the gates, the patrol no longer in sight, and started back to the main house.  He caught sight of Legolas on the upper balcony where the Prince's quarters were.  He smiled brightly at his lover, lifting his hand slightly to acknowledge that he had seen the blond Elf.

Legolas smiled slightly himself, though had Elrohir been closer it would have looked more like an angry sneer.  He beckoned to Elrohir, knowing the Peredhel would come up to him.  He went back into the room, practically stalking to the door, opening it before Elrohir could knock.

Elrohir regarded the Sinda for a moment, sensing a shift within his lover.  "Legolas?"

Legolas pulled the Half-Elf into the room, kicking the door closed behind them.  He sunk his hands into his partner's hair, sealing his lips over Elrohir's in a deep, hungry kiss.  Elrohir was powerless to stop the Prince, opening his mouth to him and moaning as Legolas claimed him with his tongue.

He was being walked backward toward the bed as Legolas' hands tore at his clothing.  While it was wonderful to see again a little of the fire and passion that he and Elladan had been so drawn to, Elrohir had never seen the Elf so desperate or so needy.  Legolas stripped the Peredhel's clothes and pushed him down onto the bed, climbing on top of him and covering his face and chest with frantic kisses.

Elrohir had to admit that being completely naked while Legolas was fully dressed was more than a little arousing.  He felt wanton and brazen; in short, he felt naughty, and the feeling excited him. Legolas was running his hands all over the twin's bare skin, leaving goose bumps in their wake.  The Wood Elf followed his hands with his mouth as he kissed, licked, sucked, and nipped every inch of Elrohir's arms, chest, and stomach.

Legolas wrapped his fingers around the Peredhel's firm cock.  Elrohir gasped at the contact, and the gasp became a moan when the Prince began stroking the smooth shaft.  He dipped his head between Elrohir's legs and began to lick the skin at the base of the twin's rod, then down to the tight sack below.  Legolas pressed his tongue against the wrinkled flesh, feeling the weight of the orbs within.  He took each one into his mouth, licking and sucking as his hand continued to move along Elrohir's cock, now slick from the clear fluids that were dribbling from the tip.

All at once, the Wood Elf released Elrohir's arousal and ran his tongue along the underside, from base to tip.  He looked into the
Half-Elf's eyes and said simply, "Mine," before enveloping Elrohir's erection with his warm mouth.

Elrohir gasped at the suddenness.  "Elbereth!  Yes, yours, maethoren. All yours."

Ahem.  Elladan's unmistakable Far-voice rang in his head.

Brother?

Who else?  Don't let him know we're speaking, though.

He's ... ohhhh, my ... he's occupied.  I don't think he'll notice.

Elladan got right to the point.  Something's wrong with him.

I don't suppose this ... mmm, that's nice ... could wait until later?

If it weren't important, I wouldn't have bothered you.  Indignation resonated through their link.

Elrohir sighed, twisting the sound into a groan as Legolas once again impaled his mouth on the Peredhel's rock-hard arousal.  Very well, gwanunig.  Why do you think something is wrong?

He's never acted like this before.  He's always let one of us be in control.

So he's trying something new.  What's wrong with that?

I don't know.  But something's off with him.  I'm worried.

You think he's going to hurt me?

I doubt it.  At least, not physically.  Just be on your guard, Caulen.

I think you're overreacting, but I will, for you.

Thank you.  Enjoy yourself, Elrohir, my love.

Elrohir felt Elladan's presence leave his mind, and he returned full consciousness to what he was doing, or, more specifically, what was being done to him.  Legolas had returned his hand to the Peredhel's cock and was working the shaft with abandon.  Elrohir gripped the bedclothes, and his head thrashed back and forth.  Legolas' grip was firm and tight almost to the point of being painful, but it felt too good for Elrohir to want to say anything.  He screamed the Prince's name when he came.  Legolas held Elrohir's cock flat against his skin so that his fluids spurted into a rapidly cooling pool on his stomach, making the younger twin shiver.

So pleasantly numb was the Half-Elf that he didn't notice when Legolas undid the ties to his leggings and exposed his arousal, he never felt Legolas scooping the milky juices from his stomach, and he barely registered when the Wood Elf lifted his legs and braced them on the blond's shoulders.  When Legolas said stiffly, "Say it again.  Say you're mine," Elrohir lazily replied, "Of course, maethoren, I'm all yours."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he remembered his brother's warning.  Elrohir snapped back to alertness just in time to feel Legolas thrusting his cock, smeared with the Peredhel's juices, into Elrohir's tight -- and unprepared -- rear passage.  Even with adequate lubrication, the entrance would be uncomfortable, at least. The small amount of slightly sticky orgasmic fluid, though, was emphatically *not* adequate, and Elrohir cried out in pain, clenching his eyes shut, as the muscle in his ass was stretched suddenly by the Elf's half-dry shaft.

Elladan was instantly in the younger twin's mind, voicing concern. Elrohir kept his eyes closed to hide the silver gleam as he reassured his brother, No, I'm okay.  Just surprised me.  As he Farspoke, Elrohir reached to the table beside the bed and grabbed the phial of oil.  He removed the stopper and poured a liberal amount onto Legolas' cock as the Wood Elf pulled back, preparing for a second thrust.  The difference was phenomenal, and Elrohir sighed in pleasure when Legolas re-entered him.  No harm done, gwanunig, he sent to Elladan.

All the same, I think I'll stay close.

Are you *that* bored, you naughty little voyeur? Elrohir teased.

Let me put it this way.  I've already drawn my sword and am in the process of... polishing it.

Oooh, you *are* naughty!  All right, you can stay, but don't distract me!

Because Elrohir was already spent, he was free to enjoy the sensation of Legolas thrusting away in him.  And enjoy it he did, even when the Mirkwood Prince grabbed his hips and began pounding his cock into Elrohir's ass with a carnal force that threatened to tear the Peredhel in half.

Legolas let out a growl of animalistic fury when his orgasm ripped through him, driving his nails into Elrohir's skin hard enough to draw blood.  He pumped the Half-Elf full of his seed, and it seemed for a time that his anger went with it.  He pulled out of Elrohir and rolled onto his back on the bed next to the younger twin, panting for air.  "You really are mine, aren't you?" he said softly.

Elrohir smiled and ran his fingers through Legolas' hair.  "Of course I'm yours, lirimaer.  Just as you are mine, and Elladan is yours, and I am Elladan's."

The anger that Legolas thought had abated returned in an instant.  He rolled out of Elrohir's reach, getting up from the bed and quickly retying his leggings.  "You can't stop thinking about him even when I'm here and he's not," he said accusingly.

Elrohir sat up, shocked.  "I was only saying --"

"You were only saying that he will always hold a greater portion of your heart than I ever can," Legolas finished for him.  The Prince did not wait for a response.  He turned quickly and stormed out of the room -- his room -- leaving a stunned Peredhel staring after him.

Now what in the hells of Morgoth was *that* all about? the twins asked each other.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Elladan and Elrohir walked swiftly to their father's office.  Elladan had quickly bathed and changed after returning from the patrol and pulled Elrohir with him to their father's study.  "We need to talk with Ada, Elrohir.  Something is really wrong with Legolas and I do not think Thranduil can help us anymore."

Elrohir sighed.  Legolas had made himself scarce the last four days and the twins could feel the shame, guilt and unfocused fury through the bond they shared with their lover.  It caused Elrohir's heart to ache whenever he concentrated on that part of his being that screamed 'Legolas!'.

They knocked at the door of their father's office, Elrohir gripping his twin's hand.  Elrond called for them to enter and Elladan pulled his brother with him into to cool, bright room.

"Ada?  Can we bother you for a few minutes?"  Elrond nodded and motioned to the large chairs near the windows.  Elladan seated himself then pulled Elrohir into his lap, leaving the other chair open for their father.  Once he was seated, Elladan started speaking.  "We worry about Legolas, Ada.  Things have not been right between the three of us for the last few years.  We have tried talking with him about it, but he is evasive and dismissive."

"We feel we are hurting him, but do not know how or why," Elrohir added.  "I know it is us because of the last time he and I were together."  He shifted a bit uncomfortably under his father's scrutiny.

Elrond smiled faintly, enjoying the rare moment of embarrassment his son felt.  "Yes?"  When neither of his sons continued, Elrond sighed heavily.  "Elladan, Elrohir, it is not as if I am deaf and blind.  I know what goes on between the three of you -- have known about it before you even knew."

"Knew?" Elladan asked.  "You knew we would form a relationship?"

"I knew, as did Thranduil, that the three of you would bond."  Elrond smiled smugly at his children.

"I knew shortly after the first night, Ada.  Elladan didn't figure it out until recently.  Legolas, though, he has not acknowledged it and I do not think he *knows* it's there.  But, we can feel this..." Elrohir search for a word, but it was Elladan who completed the thought.

"Bitterness towards us... towards *me*.  Neither of us knows why, really.  He grew angry when Elrohir made the comment that we belonged to each other, the three of us, after a lovemaking session and he became offended and angry with Elrohir.  Accusing him of holding me above him in his heart."

"Which is simply not true, Ada."

Elrond thought for a few moments, mulling over the jealousy Legolas obviously felt for the bond the twins shared.  "Why have you not brought the bond to his attention?  You both love him, that connection is proof of that.  What keeps you from making it common knowledge?" Identical eyes met one another and Elrond knew they were having one of those silent, private conversations... ones like he and Thranduil used to share.  He shook the thoughts aside, his sons needed him now and he could not dwell on his own relationship issues.  There would be time enough to deal with the Mirkwood King.

It was Elrohir who spoke.  "We wanted Legolas to come to the realization himself.  He has always come across as feeling cornered where love and his heart were concerned.  We did not wish for him to feel pressured or forced into knowing of the bond.  Both of us were given time to understand and we welcomed the bond with open hearts. Legolas, though, has this need that we cannot fill right now.  Do not ask me what that need is, it is only that that is what I can feel leaking through his mind.  It pains us, Ada, and I am no longer sure how to proceed without making matters worse."

The Imladris Lord nodded, "I can understand your reluctance.  When you began this relationship, who initiated it?"

Elladan laughed.  "After a drunken night, before we bid the Prince good night, Elrohir propositioned him.  Legolas then came to us thinking Elrohir was seeking a new partner, and we quickly corrected his misconception.  When he finally decided we were what he wanted, it was Elrohir who took the lead and kissed him first.  It was also Elrohir who took the Prince that night."

Elrohir's face, Elrond thought, probably could not turn a darker shade of red than what it was.  He had to restrain himself from commenting and teasing his son.  "The fact of the matter is, Legolas is likely to have attached to you, Elrohir, before your brother.  To him, you are still two people, and loving two people is something that not many people can reconcile.  He is likely to believe that he loves you 'more' than he loves Elladan and it would therefore upset him when he perceives that you love Elladan 'more' than you love him."

"So what do we do, Ada?" Elrohir asked softly.

"There's no easy answer to that question, my son.  The truth is that he may never come to terms with his affections.  You need to give him the time he needs.  If you choose to be counted among the Elves, you will have the lifetime of Arda to wait... if you so choose.  Other than that, I am sorry.  I have no other words of wisdom for you."

Elladan patted his brother's leg, indicating he wanted Elrohir to get up.  The twins thanked their father for his time, and Elladan remained behind, giving Elrond the patrol report before going to see Erestor. His younger brother, though, returned to their room with a heavy heart.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Legolas sat cross-legged on his bed, feeling like an Elfling once again.  His father paced the wood floor, his eyes glittering like cold jade.

"Ada..."

"Do not 'Ada' me, Legolas.  This is not a simple hunt through Mirkwood!"

Legolas glared at his father.  "Since when is a hunt through Mirkwood 'simple'?  Venomous spiders, Orcs, wargs, Men, Dwarves...  I have survived over two thousand years in the service of your kingdom, I think I have been well prepared for such a Quest as Lord Elrond wishes me to go on."

Thranduil towered over his youngest son.  "You do not know the world as well as you would like to think you do.  There is much evil, evil I would rather shield you from.  Why, Legolas?  Why must you do this?"

It nearly broke his resolve to see his father so distraught.  But, his father has fought in many battles, had helped see to the destruction of Sauron in the Second Age.  His father had a kingdom and had his own name and identity.  Legolas had none of that.  He was always an extension of those in his life.  "Adar, I want to do this.  This is what I need in my life.  I need to find out who I am in all this.  The Company needs an Elf; I am skilled, I feel I have some wisdom to offer them, and I am fond of the Halflings and Estel.  I would feel as if I am abandoning my duty to my people, to my lands.  I have accepted the Quest and I will not go back on my word."

The Mirkwood King lost all his heat, his shoulders slumping slightly as he regarded his son.  Legolas' bright eyes shone like a clear sky on a late summer day and the passion he saw reflected in their depths let him know that the Prince had thought through his decision.  He nodded once, his mouth grim.  "Then I wish you all the blessings of our people, Legolas.  This will be a trying time, one fraught with peril.  Come home to me, to our family."

Legolas stood up and embraced his father tightly.  "I will, Ada, I will."

Thranduil released his son, cupping his face in his large hands. "Have you discussed this with the twins yet?"

The younger Elf's features clouded, the brightness fading from his eyes, replaced with turmoil and resentment.  "I have not, but I am sure they will not let me escape without a confrontation."

Thranduil's brow furrowed.  "Confrontation?  Are you three still having a disagreement?"

Legolas pulled from his father's grip and walked to the balcony.  "I would not call it a disagreement, but yes, things are still unsettled between us."

"You must reconcile with them, ion," Thranduil said softly.  "Your journey has many dangers, you may not come back to me or to them.  Do not leave with your last words being in anger."

The young Sinda sighed.  "Amin mela lle, Ada."

Thranduil read the dismissal in his son's words and sighed quietly. "Amin mela lle, Legolas."  He left quickly, fearing he would change his mind and attempt to bully Legolas into returning with him to Mirkwood.  Instead, he headed to the library.  There it would be quiet and he could be alone with his tormented thoughts.

*****

The night had come and Legolas sat in the window seat in his room.  He had missed the evening meal, choosing to remain alone.  He was wearing a long, thick sleeping robe and sat with his legs drawn up against his chin.  The white blanket that covered Imladris in the winter brought to mind the days past when he and his lovers were happier.

Before he began to feel envious of Elladan.  Before he felt left out of their love.  Of course, he couldn't blame them.  He had never professed love for them, and he wasn't really sure he *did* love them. But, this was not an issue he needed to be dealing with before such a venture as the trek to Mordor.  He needed to focus himself, not dwell on matters of the heart.

It was in this irritated, contemplative state the twins found the Prince.  He heard the knock on his chamber and bid whoever was outside to enter.  He knew instantly that his lovers were there, something inside of him flaring to life.  He stood smoothly, turning his icy gaze to them.

It was Elrohir who spoke first.  After so many years, he knew the differences in the twins, knew how Elrohir would wring his hands slightly when he was upset or nervous -- and the twin speaking to him was doing just that.  "Do you really mean to leave us, maethorem valthen?"

Legolas crossed his arms, feeling his heart harden at the thought they would come to his rooms and try to dissuade him.  "Yes, I mean to leave in seven days with the Ringbearer and travel to Mordor to see this evil unmade.  Nothing you can say will sway my decision, as my father found out this afternoon."

Elladan's eyes flashed, his temper sparking at the cold, detached tone the Sinda was taking with them.  "What is with you, Legolas?  You act as though this is nothing, just a ride between here and Mirkwood!  How can you be so..."

"Casual," Elrohir said softly.  "So indifferent to the ones who care about you and what this Quest could mean to them should you not return."

Legolas flew into a sudden fury.  "Me?!  What about you?  Two months ago the two of you were ready to go should your father ask it of you! I don't remember either of you consulting me and my feelings on the matter.  You were too busy Farspeaking each other while I sat right in front of you.  No, your feelings never entered my mind when I accepted Elrond's request.  Your feelings ceased to matter to me weeks ago."

Elrohir's vision became slightly fuzzy, feeling the deluge of outrage and enmity flooding the bond between them.  Elladan reached out for his twin, steadying him and offering him his silent support.  The gesture did not go unnoticed by the Prince.

"Leave.  I do not wish to speak any more with either of you.  I will go on the Quest and when I return, perhaps we can work through what is between us.  Until then..."  He trailed off, sweeping away the moment of pain he felt at the panic in Elrohir's eyes and the fear in Elladan's.

Elladan gripped his brother's hand tightly, pulling him towards the door.  After pushing Elrohir out into the hall, Elladan bowed slightly to the Prince.  "Our blessing for Your Majesty.  May your journey be safe and fruitful."  With one last poisonous look, Elladan shut the door, offering his brother his arms.

Elrohir fell into them, tears on his cheeks.  He feared they would never see their bright, golden warrior again, and the Peredhil's
hearts bled.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Legolas was upset that his father had not remained in Imladris to see him off, but he understood that it would not have been appropriate for him to have remained.  He was also insulted that Thranduil had not even *informed* him he was leaving.  Elrond had explained, with as little detail as possible, where his father was and why he had left in such a hurry.

He had not spoken to the twins since that night in his room.  They had kept their distance and, when forced to socialize with him, treated him as a royal dignitary -- nothing more.  Which was fine, he needed as few distractions as possible.  He had met their eyes one last time as Elrond bid them farewell.  He bowed his head slightly to them in respect, vowing silently that he would return and set things right between them.

Silence, then they were filing out of the courtyard, setting out on the great Quest.

*****

The fire was low in the hearth, thick blankets covered the two sable-haired figures in the bed.  Elladan spooned behind Elrohir, holding his brother close to the warmth of his body.

Hot breath on Elrohir's ear and his twin's soft words drifted over him.  "He will return, gwanunig."

The younger brother nodded, feeling the tears return to his eyes.  "I do not doubt he will return.  What I doubt is if he will ever love us."

And to that, Elladan had no answer, no comfort to offer the other half of his soul, of his heart.  He simply pulled Elrohir closer, burying his nose in the clean scent of his brother's hair, humming softly while drifting into reverie.


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