Some Form of Comfort or Another

''You're in a playful mood...'' Haldir obligingly observes, grinning in my direction.

We are up in his flet, where there is no trace of the events from the previous night. Said flet has hosted me and young Aragorn. Apparently, I have become quite insatiable, and, to my shame, I've given myself to the beautiful, bold Ranger. I know I will be sorry when word gets out in Rivendell... but, at the moment, I'm too numb to care.  

''Dinner was quite eventful...'' Haldir is kind enough to remind me, though that typical Haldir smirk on his face has little to do with kindness.

''And Legolas quite talkative... My dear Marchwarden, do you think he is turning around?''

''Turning around?! That would certainly be something. He wants time. They both want time... I am so very puzzled by that. Time for what?! "

"And how much time?''

I know the frustration can still be felt in my voice, but at least Haldir does not shower me with compassionate looks and polite, "I truly am sorry, Glorfindel, I do not understand how such a thing could happen to you..." statements. Here and now, we are just two angry Elves bound by the same kind of misery.

''Honestly... they do not expect us to let it all go and give them our blessing, do they?! Haldir, pray forgive me, but I would have their heads before I would accept this insulting defeat!"

''It is by no means easier for me... I swear, if I didn't love the bastard so much... I'd... Ah, no matter...''

Few, if any, would imagine the proud Lorien Elf bowing his head in helpless defeat and releasing a heartbreaking sigh. But then... few of even those Elves who believe they know me would imagine that I, Glorfindel of Gondolin, would succumb to heartache when I have overcome the loss of everyone I held dear and even my own death.

"You are right, Haldir, I should stop allowing this to eat at me. We should stop this from consuming us and remember that... after all... time is ours, to do with it as we please. And I say that it shall stand still and belong to no other but you.''

My last words come out in a seductive purr, while indigo eyes narrow, giving Haldir a fair hint as to what I have in mind. That look alone would undo lesser beings... or so I've been told.

''Hmm... So I have time, then...'' Haldir observes in a low voice, biting at that full, delicious lower lip of his. Mmhmm... I have found a worthy partner to play this game, not by choice, but by chance.

We have entered his bedroom, which still amazes me, with its large bed and all the silky curtains giving it the appearance of a lover's nest. One could hardly find it matching Haldir's appearance or his demeanour.  But then, as I have recently discovered, there is far more to the arrogant Marchwarden than meets the eye. By no means lessening the merits of my raven-haired lover - curse him for doing this to me after such a long time of having devoted myself to him! - I wonder what has caused the Prince to let go of such a marvel. Ah, his loss and my gain.

''You can have whatever you please..."

He raises an inquisitive eyebrow, surprised to hear me forward such an offering. For some reason, I feel as though I've gone a bit too far.
 
"Forgive me, Haldir, if I'm behaving like a loose whore, but... I owe you so very much, and, thanks to you, I can hold my head high rather than sink in depression. You have saved me.''

There is no longer anything else but heartfelt compassion painted on his fair features, as he approaches me and places a comforting hand on my shoulder. I should feel ashamed to have confessed my weakness so freely, but that honest look in his eyes eases my mind. I have chosen the right Elf for my confession.

''And you have saved me, as well. Glorfindel, I would never have imagined that this day would come... that I would need comfort from another like this, but here I am.''

"Here WE are, Haldir, in a position that I have never believed I would find myself again. I have loved and lost, my friend, but not like this. When death claims what you hold dear, at least you know that you are not to blame, the power to undo anything is not yours and... I'm sorry, I promised myself I would not go down this path again. It cannot be my fault, Haldir, for I swear I have done everything I could and knew to make him happy and loved!"

"Shh... I know. I know exactly how you feel. Fin, it is not your fault, and Erestor is a fool."

A small smile finds its way to my otherwise anguished face. Yes, that oddity of an Elf, as so many think him, is a fool.

As we still face each other, I cannot help but run my eyes over Haldir's tall, broad-shouldered frame, and those slender limbs hidden behind dark blue velvet. But his eyes capture my attention. Blue and grey, night sky and moonlight... Something within me cringes when I can tell there is a painful look spread across his features, though he tries to suppress it, clenching his teeth.

I can take my anger and my pain; the void that has opened inside me, I can hold at bay. But to see Haldir's amazing, fair face mirroring my own agony is too much. I must put an end to it, for his sake and for mine.

''Yes, and your spoilt little Prince is an even bigger fool. The Valar sure have an odd sense of humor, finding and matching Arda's biggest fools. "

"True, true..." Haldir graces my stating the obvious with a wonderful smile. "However, those who are less foolish must look after each other, must they not?"

Good, at least I have managed to chase away that pained look from his face. And I am only just beginning.

"Haldir... at least I am no fool, and I wish to comfort you tonight. I really do. I've been thinking about it all afternoon.''

My playful reply seems to have done the job, and Haldir is back to his confident, provocative self in an instant. For one who has not seen the gentle, vulnerable side of him, it may appear as a mirage. It nearly fooled me, but I am thankful that he has allowed me behind the facade, giving me the opportunity to know him as a whole.

''Despite Aragorn's efforts to keep you entertained?''

He makes me roll my eyes and bite my lips to prevent a rather embarrassed laugh. ''Nay, his efforts have paid off, but there is no other like you. No other seems to know me, and know how to pleasure me, like you do. And there is none quite so handsome and appealing as you. I'll bet you've heard this time and time again.''

''Well...''

He's not even pretending to be modest.

''Because it is true. ''

Why should I not brush his ego? After all, he is known to be quite arrogant and full of himself. I have nothing against that, for it suits him like a second skin.

''Still, coming from you, Glorfindel... least expected of all. It is precious. You do not know how good and proud it makes me feel.''

At least you appreciate it. And you should, my fair friend,  for I do not spread compliments here and there. Nay, I seem to be more on the receiving end, for that matter. ''So long as you are pleased, Haldir, and relieved, so am I.''

It should seem strange, how I aim to please him and am quite content doing that. But then... a lot of things are strange, and very much unlike they should be.

''Then I shall be pleased and... relieved," he agrees, very aware of the hint.

''Good. I'm glad we agree. Come, let me try my skill on you. For you have stirred in me passion and lust I cannot contain but wish to release. I've longed to taste you all day. ''

It's not so much the words I say as it is the look in my darkened eyes, the cheeks that are flushed, or the nostrils, drawing in his scent insatiably. He understands the animal lust in me and is pleased, smirking very wickedly.

''Seduce me, then... ''

Ooo... You do not have to ask twice, fair one.  ''Gladly...''

I begin by pushing him back against the bedpost that I rocked onto the night before. Ah, why must I remember that now? Away, away evil memories of young Rangers and the doom that awaits me in Imladris! Concentrate on the task at hand, you silly Balrog Slayer...

As he closes his eyes and succumbs to the sensation, I use my fingers to gently trace the outlines of his face, the brows, the nose, the lips, the chin, down his neck, stopping at the button of his cloak. Mapping out those perfect features, letting my fingers memorise the firmness of his jaw... or the crimson softness of his delicious lips.

Swiftly, I remove the silken cloak, and then he aids me in taking off his heavy, velvet robe, leaving him half-naked, beautiful and breathtaking as a dream.

''Come, sit on the edge of the bed,'' I bid him as my eyes roam up and down that muscular torso, shivering inside as I think of the delight in tasting that soft skin.

Kneeling on the bed behind him, I run a hand through his silvery, soft hair, pushing it aside to reveal a strong, broad shoulder. Slowly, I caress his skin, outlining every muscle, tickling at some point, making him twitch and shiver.

''Mmm... you are so very... beautiful just doesn't cover it. You are a delight, a sight to behold... and taste!''

Saying so is barely enough, so I proceed to place butterfly kisses from the tip of his shoulder up the collarbone and then the sensitive skin of his neck. My breath alone gives him pleasant goose bumps, as I whisper next to his ear, lips barely touching him.  ''The Man was so quick to spend himself. Why, he only had to touch me, to work me up a little, and he was so hard you could crack an Orc's skull with that shaft.''

He cannot suppress a snicker. " I do not blame him. You are a treasure indeed...''

He gasps as I begin to run the tip of my tongue along his pointed ear, nibbling at the earlobe and then seizing the soft spot behind his ear. I tease and torture my way along the delicate skin, tracing a now tense tendon under my mouth, and that vein pointing out is accelerating its pulse.

Grabbing at his hair, a motion that is painless and arousing on its own, I tilt his head to one side to get better access to that exposed skin. I know that my ministrations will leave marks on the perfect white, but encouraging moans make me continue. Briefly pausing to make way, I resume my delicious activity on the other side of his head, where the skin is still untouched.

After a while, clearly responding to the kisses and caresses, he wishes to see me, to have me in front of him, so I do just that. I am pulled into his lap and trapped in a long, sealing kiss. Yet again I am amazed at that illusive tongue and its playfulness.

''Tell me more of your night with Aragorn.''

Hmm... so you wish to tease me with this, do you, Warden?... Or does it please you? I would reckon it does, otherwise you would not have so kindly and selflessly housed the young Ranger and myself in your bedroom. ''It was fruitful... very fruitful. After a while he caught my pace and kept it going. You know he has taken off his beard so as not to harm my sensitive skin. I quote; 'My mouth wishes to devour,' and so he did. Surprisingly, that boy shows some sense. Being fostered by Elrond is beginning to show its advantages. Still, I'd rather have you.''

''Quite a trio we're turning out to be...''

There is nothing but amusement in his observation, but my eyes go wide open and I gasp in surprise.

"Trio... Haldir? You mean, you... Oh, what am I saying? Of course you have had him too... Never mind!"

''It surprises you that I would seek to make the best of being so unattached at the moment?"

"Mmm, no, you wicked Marchwarden. Make the best of it indeed; not all bad is THAT bad. May I?''
 
Not really expecting an answer, I grab one of his wrists, starting to lick at yet another patch of extremely sensitive skin. I can feel his fingers twitching as I trail up his arm, exploiting the delicate, warm flesh at the inside of his elbow. Something short of a low growl escapes his lips as I find the spot to be very sensitive to the touch.

''Am I any good at seducing you?''

''Hmm... well...''

He's trying to pose otherwise, but that look in his eyes says I am doing just great.  Much like the slight quivers his body is unable to restrain.

''Give me your hand," he demands in a deep yet surprisingly clear voice. That, the way he speaks, the flat an emotionless tone, has always drawn my attention. True, I have heard a wide range on emotions voiced by those sweet lips...

As I comply and let him take a hold of my right wrist, he kisses my fingers, then his tongue traces circles and lines in my palm. Bravely, I try to resume tasting the delicious skin of his shoulder and not give in to the sensation of that unbelievable mouth. But I am rendered breathless as he slips my palm under his waistband, freeing his arousal and letting my moist hand envelop it.

''Haldir!''

His name comes out as a hiss as he uses his free hand to pull my head next to his. Not kissing me, just looking at me lustfully, provocatively, and he whispers, ''This is what you do to me. All the time...''
 
I become completely tense hearing those words and, at the same time, letting his hand guide mine up and down that sensational arousal.

''All the time?''

''But for when I find relief. With you.''

I should not be amazed by those words, but I am, and it only serves to inflame my senses even further.

''And *He*? Did he cause you such torment?''

Stupid, stupid Glorfindel! How could I be such an idiot and ruin this moment of pure passion and forgetfulness that I have aimed to achieve?!

''I will not speak of him! Nor will I let your mind drift down that path. Nay, this is about you and me. And, my beautiful Glorfindel, with you, it's like I can never get enough. Every time leaves me yearning for more.''

Thank you, Haldir! For finding a way to take my recklessness and turn it into a seductive reply.

At this point, my hand is moving freely, on its own, as Haldir slowly leans back to sit properly across the bed, hauling me on top of him. I can feel the hardened flesh respond to my caresses as I lean down to lose myself in his intoxicating kiss yet again.

''How do you purpose I should please you, Lord?'' I purr upon his lips, adjusting myself on top of him.

''Remove your hand," Haldir commands.

I put on quite an ill-suited frown, but release my captive, awaiting new orders.

''Good. Now get off me and strip me of my leggings.''

All right, if this is your choice of game... Quick to obey, though so much as a hint of my behaving like this would have made me draw my sword against the wretch to suggest it, I do as Haldir requested, but slowly, stopping to caress the inside of his thighs. I wish to bend down and kiss, as well.

''No. Sit up. Wait until I tell you to do so.''

I rise to my feet, unable to remove my eyes from the marvellous frame in front of me, ever so majestic and aroused.

''Take off your clothes. But slowly... Tease me...''

A strange dance begins between the two of us, though we do not touch one another at all. As I remove my garments slowly, touching myself and pouring fire into my veins, I glance at him, shifting my fiery gaze from his face to the way he's stroking himself, pleased with the display in front of him.

''Lord... will you rob me of my spoils?'' I enquire, panting, so flared up I can hardly contain it.

''No, love. Come. Come and claim what you desire.''

Stretching and leaning down in a very provocative manner, I bite seductively at my lower lip before running the tip of my tongue over Haldir's delicious stiffened flesh. But only a few strokes he allows, groaning, before he grabs my head firmly, holding it still, just above his maddening arousal. The look in his eyes is almost frightening, and also the last thing I see before a blindfold is slipped over my eyes and tied in a tight knot. How?! Haldir is still holding my head with both hands. There must be another in the room, creeping in so very silently. I cannot even hear his breath, even though he is so very close.

''Rúmil? Orophin? Which one of you is doing this?''

No answer, and as I try to reach behind, to feel whoever it is, two firm hands grab both my arms and twist them behind me, causing me to whimper and lose my balance. That grip both restrains me and holds me bent above Haldir, my lips just touching the tip of his engorged shaft.

I draw in air, trying to pick up the scent of the one behind me, but all I can feel is pent-up desire filling my nostrils. Haldir runs his thumb over my lips and I can only guess his wicked grin.

''You were asking for spoils? Well, my love, you shall receive them...''

''Haldir... who is...''

But only a sharp hiss escapes my lips as one of the hands holding me captive grabs painfully at my hair, pulling my head up, while the other constricts my wrists together fiercely.

I can tell it is an Elf, for a strand of silky hair has touched my shoulder. And the strength of that grip on me is beyond my power to escape. I try to struggle, but to no avail.

''Hush, love, and do not fight," Haldir whispers in a voice that is meant to be soothing. "We will not hurt you."

To block my protests, he gets up and envelops my mouth in a long kiss, batting away all reasonable thought from my head.

''Hold him.''

Speaking to the other, Haldir proceeds to work his way down my neck, having started to caress the tense muscles of my chest. My head drops back and onto the shoulder of the one behind me, whose panting breath I can now hear. Just below the place where my hands are iron-bound, I can feel yet another stiff arousal pressing against my back and hinting clearly as to its unbelievable dimensions. It is not any of Haldir's brothers. I'd recognise them in a heartbeat. Yet who is this Elf, running his long, nimble fingers down my abdomen, driving me mad? And why must I not see him; why should I not know his identity?

Unless...

The thought makes me burst out in a cry of pleasure and laughter. At this, Haldir stops, and I assume he's raised his head from his place of torture that is melting me.

''You need only have asked for my services, Lord. I would have gladly complied. There is no need for blindfolds... your secret is safe with me.''

My over-aroused, boiling head thinks Lord Celeborn has come to have a taste of his oh-so-loose guest. And he wishes his secret not to be disclosed. Yet I am puzzled by what is happening over my shoulder. Haldir and the other are both pressing against me, their mouths seemingly trapped in a revolting and maddening kiss. Revolting because I simply cannot picture myself caught between Lord and Warden like this, blindfolded and trapped for their pleasure. How many others have received such treatment? Have you tricked me, Hal? Ah, who cares? It's just another lover, right? Behind the fold over my eyes, I'm trying to imagine the two, and I find it fascinating. Knowing Celeborn, it's actually no surprise.

''Haldir, you truly are wicked!'' I voice my opinion, laughing softly.

''And you... look at you... you're ready to give yourself to anyone who will have you.''

''It's all your fault... But not just anyone. Only you, my Lords.''

I would watch what I say if I were you, dear Haldir. I am not always the gentle-tempered Fin you think you know.

All of a sudden, Haldir resumes his position on the bed, legs spread apart, and I am pushed above him again.

''He wishes for you to taste me.''
 
''Mmm, it is also my craving...''

I can only imagine the other's face, and I give out a coarse laugh, grinning ever so lavishly, before reaching down to welcome Haldir into the warm depths of my mouth. I can hear him gasp and he aids me with one hand, stroking himself at the pace of my ministrations.

My hands are freed, only to find themselves grabbing at Haldir's hips as I take him deeper and closer to his release.  Still, I cannot focus too long only on his urging desire, as I can feel hands running all over my body and a leg pressing mine to spread ever more apart.

I moan, nearly choking on Haldir's length while grazing it slightly with my teeth, because I can feel fingers working at me, searching through me. Two fingers scissoring, stretching me, causing me to whimper. The uncomfortable invasion is immediately soothed as the deft fingers brush past the spot that sends fireworks exploding before my eyes. My choked moans give me away and those fingers are relentless, opening me over and over again. I completely stop the assault on Haldir, hanging on to the sensation of the other Elf taking hold of my hips and pushing himself inside me. Yet not forcefully, as I had expected, gasping out loud, but probing the welcoming heat. With a sharp, soundless hiss.

To this, Haldir rises again, taking himself in his one hand while picking me up and supporting most of my weight as I am uncontrollably rocked by the motion inside me. It's like the one behind me knows how to set his pace to rip me apart, piece by piece, thrusting ever deeper.

How much deeper? I wonder, my mind starting to explode.

''He won't have... me finishing in your... sweet mouth...'' Haldir whispers, frantically kissing me, as he releases himself with one last stroke and a whimper, muffled by our kiss. I can feel warm fluid springing from his hardness and onto our stomachs, but that quickly goes away, as I grab Haldir, trying to cling to him and I am flooded by the sensation ripping through my body. Harder... faster... and, oh Valar! ... deeper the other thrusts into me. I have never felt anything like that overwhelming heat forging its way to my very core.

Clutching Haldir in my grasp, I am very, very close to the end, now assaulted from both sides. Expert fingers stroke my aching member, massaging the tip and picking up the pace. In the midst of all this passion, all this mind-blowing pleasure, I feel triumph climbing up from my heaving chest to my throat, gushing out coarsely as I reach absolute climax.

''Wish... wish Erestor and Legolas could see us now!'' Petty, I know, but my dislocated mind cannot reason more that that.

Another thrust and he, deep inside me, also comes with a loud cry of release and pure agony. It pierces my ears harder then the drum of my pounding heart. Violently, the other pulls me from Haldir's embrace, crushing me against his tense, muscular body and hissing in my ear.

''I am here, as you wish.''

My whole world seems to shrink as I freeze and feel numb, still holding him inside me. My mind struggles to grasp what is happening, while waves of delight are still washing over me. I have not the power to fight, to free myself from his painful grip. I merely start to shiver, cold, sick, and frightened, as though I'm leaning against a pillar of steel.

''Legolas...''

''Now what say you?''

There is so much anger in his voice, hissing next to my earlobe, that I fear for myself.

''Silent, are we? Stunned? Having had the flesh of he whom you loath so much rock you open?''

There is a claw gripping my insides and tearing them apart. I can no longer resist the anger and pain ripping through me. I struggle for breath, my throat is sore, and the cloth covering my eyes is damp.

As brutal as the grip on me comes a shove, and I stumble next to Haldir, weak, ashamed, and still trying to understand what is going on. What have they done to me? And why?

Gently, Haldir removes the blindfold, revealing a world distorted and bleak to my eyes. With a compassionate, honest look, he reaches out to caress my flushed cheek while trying to pull me into a comforting embrace.

"Don't touch me! Get away from me!'' I start, removing myself from his side and wrapping my arms around my knees. I am naked, vulnerable, and my weakness has been exploited by the two monsters before me.
 
''I'm so sorry... I had no say in this, Glorfindel...''

''Don't you dare speak to me! Haldir... don't you dare!''

As the pain wears off, it is replaced by anger. Terrible rage... at everything. For now, I have nothing left. My love was stolen from me. My trust betrayed one time too many. I have been stripped of my pride and whatever dignity I had left. My own body has turned against me and I've thoughtlessly allowed it to be used in such ways. I am balancing on the edge of sanity and only a supreme effort can save me from losing control. Abruptly, I jump to my feet and stare at Legolas... naked, heavenly beautiful, grinning, teeth gritted and fists clenched at his sides. But I cannot see the beauty... just the foe, having used me and broken me. Now I shall break him.
 
A heartbeat later, a long, curved knife materialises from the nightstand into my hand. It was used to tear through cloth last night. Now, it shall tear through flesh.
 
Tense, ready to pounce, I face my demon, but Haldir comes between us. A frightened look in his eyes and a very concerned appearance serve only to flare me up even further.
 
''Out of the way, Haldir! I have no business with you just yet.''

''No... Glorfindel, please... don't do this... calm down, please...''

''Leave me!''

I shove Haldir out of the way and head for Legolas, slowly, looking as terrible as an enraged beast, but steady... ready to pin him down with the tip of my knife. He is frozen in his spot, expression altered completely from self-satisfied smugness to shock.

''I shall gut you like you have done to me!''

Not even breathing, I close the gap between us, holding the knife ready to strike. ''I will have my revenge and serve your head to your lover before having his!" Your lover, Legolas? The silver-haired one or the raven-haired? Rage paints a beautiful, bloody picture of both Elves cut to small pieces by the sharp edge of my blade.

Nothing but anguish and terror can be read on Legolas' features as he realises I mean to strike him. As the thought of what he has done dawns upon him. Still, he does not move away, nor does he seek some form of defending himself.

''Do it!'' he hisses. The tormented creature must have lost his mind.

''Legolas... What are you...'' Haldir is terrified by the scene unfolding before his eyes.

''Let him strike me!''

Even Haldir is shocked, leaping close to me and trying to remove the knife from my fist. But to no avail, for rage lends me more strength than all the millennia through which I have lived. Striking a heavy blow to his fair face, I send Legolas tumbling on the bed and I crash on top of him, slashing the blade across his throat, stopping a hair's distance from that soft skin.

''No... I shall have you beg for death before I am done with you!''

Legolas is frozen still beneath me, the only lively part of him being his eyes, now flooded with tears.

''You come to tears so soon?'' I inquire harshly, remembering clearly how salty tears had pained my eyes but moments ago.

''I... I did not know what else to do... I had to... I couldn't let you be with him any longer...'' Legolas whimpers, just a whisper of a strangled voice. My eyes grow wide, staring at him, puzzled at how sudden all his changes of mood and appearance are.

''You are mad...''

I realise this with no small amount of astonishment. Only madness and despair could have driven the otherwise calm and collected Prince to such deeds. And have him break down like this.

I look up to my left, where Haldir is pale, stern, and his only means of standing is the bedpost against which he is leaning. His eyes slowly slide from the anguished face of his beloved to my bewildered gaze.

''Haldir... what is happening?''

Just as shocked as I am, Haldir nods.

''I do not know... Glorfindel, look at him... What has come over Legolas? Please... remove your blade. Don't hurt him...''

''Not before you tell me why. Why was I the subject of this madness? Why have you done this to me? Haldir, I put my trust in you and...''

''No... please, don't think that I planned any of this. For I did not, my friend. I did not know that Legolas was here until he came behind you... And when he did... I was powerless to stop him. You did not see the look on his face. It was earth-shattering. Pleading, threatening, filled with lust and rage. Glorfindel, please believe me... I would never turn against you.''

''Lest it be to join your former lover... Or is he not your former? ''

''I do not know... I do not know anymore... Look at him.''

''I couldn't care less about this helpless creature. He is not worth raising this blade against. You disappoint me, Haldir. I had faith in you. I cared for you and I would have done anything to see that your heart is never clouded. I will leave you and your deranged lover. For now. But I will have my revenge and this will not go unpunished. Take my word on it.''
 
I leap off the bed, letting the knife slide out of the fist I had clenched for so long that my fingers are sore. Suddenly, I am painfully aware of my nakedness and it has grown very uncomfortable, for all it does is remind me of what I have been subjected to. I feel dirty, and cold, whilst searching for my robe and quickly covering myself.

''Glorfindel, please stop and listen to me... I did not mean to fail you.''

Haldir has left his place next to the bedpost, closing the gap between us and enveloping me in a pleading gaze. I hate his beautiful face and I loathe his incredible body... I am sickened by how pathetically he looks at me and I am disgusted by how I have given in to him over and over again.

''Whether you meant for this to happen or not... is of little matter to me now.''

''But I did not. You have to believe me. I couldn't bear to lose you too...''

''Your loss might very well be your gain.''

''No, Glorfindel, no. You are angry now, and I understand that. And I would be even more enraged if I were you. But... tell me... what would you have done if you were in my place?''

And now it hits me. What would I do, indeed? What if I were in Haldir's place and he were in mine? What if Erestor had come to claim Haldir right in front of me... only to prevent our coupling? The very thought is enough to make me shiver.
 
''Glorfindel?''

I would throw him out and he would have to thank his lucky stars that I could not slit his throat for such madness. Betraying me once is bad enough. A second time would mean the end for him.
 
Ah, my raven-haired beauty, it is your turn to taste the bitter fruit of deceit.

''Glorfindel, why do you grin like that?''

''Never you mind, fair Haldir. Tend to your beloved and worry for me no longer. I am not angry with you. I pity you for your weakness and I pity myself for getting trapped in this pointless game. But no more.''

Despite his despondent look, I just clasp the mithril belt around my waist, straightening the folds of my robe. I have to get out and get as far away from this place as possible. The scent of spent passion is revolting to my stomach. Though it be my passion spent also.

''I will go now. Do not try to stop me or follow. You have more urgent matters to attend to. We will speak again when the memories of this unfortunate night have faded away.''

Though he wishes to reply, he is halted by the dismissive hand I raise.

''No... Hold your tongue.''

''Haldir...'' Legolas faintly cries out, still frozen upon the bed.

''Can you not hear him? Your beloved Prince calls for you. Seize this opportunity, if you still have any desire to do so.''

I don't care about his response. I don't want to turn around and see anything anymore. I slip into my shoes and flee from Haldir's talan with a swift swish of silken robes.
 
I will not cry... I cannot cry. I will voice neither my anger nor my triumph. I am swept away by a wave of serenity known to me only in death. I can see everything so clearly now. It is as though I have left my body and can look upon myself as I wander through the woods. My feet know the path, as my thoughts trail off.
 
Every square centimetre of my skin feels soiled by that which I have so foolishly subjected myself to. I must wash my body and I must clear my mind before I can look upon myself and say, ''I am Glorfindel."

The stream is icy cold, only a few feet deep, but my limbs welcome its purity. Thoroughly, I wash myself, and a grim smile is constantly curving my lips. I can see all that has come to pass and I am shocked at how I could allow myself to be a part of it.
 
How could I let my guard down? Why did I forget who I am and treat myself like a helpless stray? How could I succumb to pain and imagine that I would gain gratification by coupling with a bunch of weaklings? How could I believe myself to be one of them?

My skin burns and I know I will leave marks all over my body, but I must wash it clean and punish it for clouding my reason and shaming me so.

Erestor has already paid for his treason. The one he believes above me, and at the centre of his desires, has failed his love. I could have claimed his life in revenge and he would not even have flinched from the strike. But I would not stain my hands with the blood of my own kin. And he is not even worthy of Haldir... even if he carries some fine... equipment.
 
I cannot help but laugh. Perhaps that very equipment is what both Haldir and Erestor have fallen for. Sadly for them, the Prince appears to keep his reason there also. And, to my horror, I have done the same for quite a few days. But no more. It has taken shock and abuse to remind me of who I am. None the less, I have remembered. I am Glorfindel, and I have not made history and watched it being made, was not reborn, to be tangled in a web of pathetic desires of the flesh.

It is over. I am me again. And I will be my best comfort, my true friend, my beloved. I need no one else.


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